Section | Chapter 5 Table of Contents |
When you have a hard time
with someone consider using the following strategy:
1. Identify the problem...and
the person you are having trouble with. Figure out the specific behavior
or attitude that is bothering you and how frequently it occurs.
2. Look at the relationships...Examine
how the person interacts with others. Is it similar to the way he interacts
with you? What makes him/her act that way? Figuring out the causes of
someone's behavior helps point the way toward possible solutions.
3. Determine the costs...How
does that behavior effect others? Does it cause people to lose morale?
Does it effect productivity? Does it make everyone uncomfortable? If
no one is affected by the person's behavior, the behavior should be
4. Plan an approach...Once
you identify that the person's behavior does effect you and others,
you need to have a discussion with the person. Plan an approach that
fits the nature of the problem, the personality of the person involved
and your relationship with that person.
5. Describe the behavior...When
you do meet with that person describe the behavior in a non-accusatory
manner and explain why it bothers you. Use "I" statements.
For example, "Today during the meeting when I was talking about
the budget and you interrupted me before I had finished my sentence,
I felt really cut down."
6. State what you want...Next
be clear about what you want. "I hope that the next time I talk
that I won't get interrupted".
7. Seek commitment...Be
sure the person understands and try to get commitment to change. "Do
you see things the same way?"
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