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Guidelines to Negotiating Conflict

1. Separate the people from the problem. If you have a fight with your co-worker, don't think about how you dislike the way they dress or the way they talk to their secretary. Instead concentrate on the issue at hand.

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2. Be flexible. Listen to other people. Talk about specific interests and issues, not general positions. Explain why you have your particular point of view. Don't be stubborn just because you want to win.

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3 Recognize people's interests. Let them know that you understand where they are coming from. Acknowledge what people say. Paraphrase back to them their point of view. By doing this, you let people know that you understand what they are saying and they will be less likely to keep repeating the same point over and over again.

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4. Think about people outside of the group who might be affected by the decision. If the conflict you are having affects others, be sure to think of them and what they would want to see happen. Don't just plow ahead with your ideas.

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5. Focus on getting a resolution that both sides can accept. Don't get stuck on the idea of winning for winning's sake. Be willing to compromise if necessary. Is it really necessary to have things turn out just the way you want them? Are there certain ideas or interests that you are willing to give up in order to end the conflict?

Give an example of when you did or didn't do this:






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