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Giving Feedback Effectively

DO'S

  1. Describe the person's behavior which bothers you.
    "It bothers me when you finish my sentences for me."

  2. Talk to the person right when things come up.
    Don't wait until things are likely to have been forgotten.

  3. Use "I" messages. Own your feelings.
    "I feel bad when you finish my sentences for me."

  4. Check for clarity.
    "Do you understand what I mean when I say that?"

  5. Give consequences if behavior continues.
    "If you keep interrupting me, I most likely won't want to spend time talking with you in the future."

  6. Only bring up behaviors that the person can do something about.

  7. Be ready to listen to the other person's point of view.

DON'TS

  1. Don't accuse the person.
    "You always interrupt me."

  2. Don't bring in third parties.
    "John also says that you interrupt a lot."

  3. Don't take for granted that the person understands what you are saying.

  4. Don't give vague consequences.
    "That kind of behavior is going to get you in trouble."

  5. Don't bring up behaviors that the person can't help.
    "The way you breathe really bothers me."

  6. Don't deny the other person's feelings.

Tips on receiving feedback...

  1. Listen to the feedback without getting defensive.

  2. Do not blindly accept what you are told as the ultimate truth.

  3. Paraphrase the feedback to make sure that you are understanding correctly what is being said to you.

  4. Remember that all feedback is good, because it gives you a chance to see how others view your work.

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